The only reason I watch that movie is because of him. 
Marry me?  The only reason I watch that movie is because of him. 
Marry me?  The only reason I watch that movie is because of him. 
Marry me?  The only reason I watch that movie is because of him. 
Marry me?  The only reason I watch that movie is because of him. 
Marry me?  The only reason I watch that movie is because of him. 
Marry me?  The only reason I watch that movie is because of him. 
Marry me? 

The only reason I watch that movie is because of him. 

Marry me? 

(via novarimbailey)

“If that’s what gets your dick hard—telling people they’re bad at making art.”

Andrew Jackson Jihad

We Didn’t Come Here to Rock

An amazing cover of an otherwise bad song by Weezy.

-bttrcp

Dear Ginger Pup,

All I want to do is have sex with you. Is that too much to ask? An hour or so of your time, kind sir, is all I’ll need. Stop playing games you know you want it too. 

-sexually frustrated raccoon 

Feeling poetick and sad and shit? Get at this.

The spin of the earth impaled a silhouette of the sun on the steeple
And I got to hear the same sermon all the time now from you people
Why are you staring into outer space, crying?
Just because you came across it, and lost it

Enjoy.
-Buttercup

Gonna watch A Walk to Remember, drink red wine and bawl my eyes out because that’s all I’m good for right now.

This is not good. This is self-destructive. Everyone says it’s a bad idea. But like… 

For science! For love! For my unraveling mental state (fuck me; I’m destroyed!)

Happy Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget that there’s more to life than romantic love.

-buttercup

“You idiot kid, you don’t have a clue.”
— Elliott Smith

A looming question of mine:

Is there memoriam in forgetting?

-Buttercup

“No, I swear that I dooon’t have a guuuun, no, I don’t have a guuun.”
Where are you going?
Oh. They’re outside shotgunning beers.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
Dude, I’m like so drunk but—”

Kurt Cobain is rolling in his grave as bros piss beer and pent up semen on his life’s work.

People aren’t expecting you to do the one thing I’m hoping you’ll do and empirical analysis shows that you’re not going to do the one thing I’m hoping I really want that ideally you would do. 

0-3

Can someone please lobotomize me so I don’t have to go through this again? Fuck you Shakespeare  you were wrong. Never feeling sounds fantastic right now.

- a raccoon that has come to a very sad but true realization

Tomorrow is Winter Bash…

Also known as the college version of whatever you’re high school winter formal/homecoming was. So basically more drunk people, less fancy dress, and even more making out than before!! Yippie! 

It should be quite the shitshow since I just had my first full week of classes (all 4 days, no class on Fridays) and I’m rattled to say the least. This would be a perfect time to crack open the old, now illegal and most likely lethal Four Loko, but alas, I forgot to stock up. Ginger pup is going to be there and I can’t say I’m going to be able to keep my composure or contain my social awkwardness. 

I just need to be coherent enough to get through the door. Anything after is a total bonus. 

-A rattled and frizzy from the global warming weather raccoon

Late recap of 2013 so far: Persona Non Grata —-> Our friend group

Sorry we da badd3st b1tch3z. No one said that it’d be easy; just that it’d be worth it. Go team!

Step 1: Drink. Drink a lot.
Step 2: Act like you’re better than the freaks at the party and be sure to establish dominance over those pale, unattractive fuckers.
Step 3: Consume foods regardless of their availability to the party public.
Step 4: Repeat

Congratulations. You a bad bitch 2.

image

-Buttercup

Well We’re Not Dead…

pretty sure that’s the only thing that’s changed since 2012 cause my life is still a joke and the universe is still a bitch. 

happy new year folks! 

-RR